The Black Napkin

The Black Napkin

We’d been to this restaurant once before, but tonight it was different. When we were seated, the waitress removed my lovely white napkin and handed me a black napkin. I assumed that, like the chargers she was going to remove to leave room for the bread and appetizer plates,  the others at the table would also be getting a new napkin like me, but no! Instead, the waitress made the motions of placing their white napkins in their laps and then moved on to handing us our menus. I felt bewildered and, silly I know, singled out as the odd one. 

When we’d come before, both David and I where made to feel equally special (it was for our 25th Anniversary and this is in Georgia). There were tastefully placed notices letting us know to leave our cell phones in our pockets. So, tonight we were loathe to google about this black napkin and instead joked about why I was different. Was I singled out as a potential trouble-maker? Did they think I was the one paying? Funny speculations went on, but all the time, my mind was truly burning to know- WHY. 

 Now, forgive our ignorance please, but remember that I am a pastor’s wife and not a lawyer’s or doctor’s wife, and though my sweet hubby treats me to nice restaurants, we also don’t live near any terribly nice ones, so the opportunity is even more rare. But, as you can guess, David finally, discreetly googled and found that because I was wearing a black dress, the black napkin was given to me to protect my clothes from potentially getting white lint on them from a white napkin. Whoa! 

Suddenly, I felt very special and cared for instead of “marked” for some negative reason. It changed my whole dining experience. 

It got me thinking- unfortunately in the middle of the night- about life. Sometimes we are handed something very different than those around us and it may feel like we are the odd-one-out or that we are inferior or less blessed or that we can’t relate to others because it feels like they can't relate to us. But what if that odd thing, was actually a gift to protect us? 

I’ve often felt out of sorts being the pastors wife. I didn’t go to school for it, I’m not a strong spiritual leader type and when I tried I just got called legalistic. It’s hard for me to relate to other women because I “have” to be at all services (I do also want to be there, but there is the element of having to be on death’s door to miss or perhaps in labor, but even then you can still attend while in labor. Lol) I’ve been at this church for 45 years+ now and so I don’t know a lot of what’s going on elsewhere and I don’t meet a lot of people outside of our church body. I can’t keep up with friends made who then leave or move away. This leaves me with a bit of an attachment disorder probably but I’ll never know. Thinking of that particular part of me as a protection, though, changes my perspective. I believe God has my good in mind. I didn’t earn or deserve this role which I’m still figuring out and we have had many, many years of blessings in our church body for which we are very grateful. 

But, what odd circumstances have been thrown your way that God may have used to protect you rather than Him just testing or trying you? I wonder. 

2 Sam.22:31

“As for God, His way is perfect;

The word of the Lord is proven;

He is a shield to all who trust in Him.”

Ps.84:11-12 (our verse for this school year)

For the Lord God is a sun and shield;

The Lord will give grace and glory;

No good thing will He withhold

From those who walk uprightly.

O Lord of hosts,

Blessed is the man who trusts in You!