Christmas Letter 2016

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...
Well actually, just over in Tacoma, WA, but over 20 years ago, David attended seminary. For those three years, another Christian Pastor also attended. They became friends and we got to know the family a little bit. His wife spoke at one of our women's events.
Years passed and while the other Pastor had moved his family back to Bangalore, India, where they started a Bible school and seminary, we stayed in our home town and served at the church we grew up in. Their only son returned to the US when he was 17 to attend a Christian college, we reconnected with them and our church became one of their supporters. Meanwhile, their son, Jesse, finished his bachelors and continued in the US while pursuing a Doctorate. We enjoyed having the Divakar family in our lives and always wanted to spend more time with them when they came to visit. WELL! Long story short, Jesse (25) married our daughter, Sarah (21), on Sept. 10 of this year.

So, we have more family and are very happy! They live in Georgia now and we are very thankful for FaceTime etc.

Andrew (23) is on the home stretch of his Master's degree! He has been away this last year finishing seminary in Wisconsin. He will graduate in May of 2017 and we hope to attend the ceremony. It is very special to us that he is following in his father's footsteps and have joked too, that he should try to keep in touch with his seminary buddies. ;) But, in all seriousness, he is following God's call in his life and that is the greatest blessing of all.

Margaret (20) will receive her bachelor's of music from Thomas Edison University in the next few weeks! She has worked very hard and deserves her 4.0. She has a piano studio in our home and loves not only teaching, but the students too. It is fun to hear her delight at their accomplishments. She also does a lot at church, taking over Sarah's deaconess responsibilities, accompanying the choir, and finding music that we can sing as a family.

Rebekah (18) graduated from our home education high school in June. She is helping me with school, taking college classes, and filling in, in many other areas. She really enjoys writing and has made some wonderful friends that share her love. She is driving and helps at her grandma's houses often too. It is very handy having another driver in the house.

 
Maxwell (16) has completed most of his high school courses and has added college level courses. There are many prerequisite courses and tests that we have learned you can take for a very small fee compared to enrolling in college. Some of these are called CLEP, DSST, and Aleks. The other four kids have gone this route, for the basics, saving a lot of time and money and we are pretty savvy about it now. These courses transfer to many colleges, Thomas Edison University, for one. So, that is what he will probably do. Then, he works at Olson's Gaskets one day a week to cover these expenses.

 
David Clayton (14) is in the 9th grade. His highlight of the year was probably going with David, Sarah, and I to Macon, GA in August. The purpose of the trip was to see where Jesse lived, celebrate our 25th wedding Anniversary and take David somewhere on a plane. He enjoys playing football in our field with Max and the cousins, as well as helping with projects. We have torn out more carpet upstairs, painted 2 rooms, and renovated the upstairs bathroom.

Tabitha (13) had her special birthday party this year, inviting people that she is particularly close to and looks up to. They didn't fail her, and we had a wonderful time listening to godly advise, opening gifts and eating. She had to take over Sarah's cleaning jobs at the grandma's houses, but seems to be thankful for the opportunity to earn some cash. Her academics are going well. When she observed David working on his research paper about germs and the people that discovered them, she asked if she could do a research paper. I about fell off my chair! Or I don't remember. Must have blacked out. Anyway, that was a first! So, she is researching the life of J. R. R. Tolkien and it was cool for her to learn that he became a Christian on the date of her birthday!

Marta (11) was surprised this year with...a cat...! I may have been imbalanced mid September when I convinced David we should get one for the basement. Sarah had just left home and I saw this kitty, and well, now we have one. His name is Mouser, so you get the idea. Marta takes care of him and just loves, loves, LOVES Mouser! She is also doing great with school, has become a regular bookworm, and loves us all.

William (9) was misnamed. Calvin would have been more appropriate. He is very happy and active and excels in math. After he finished reading The Great Escapes, I found quite a length of fabric strips tied together in a rope. Along with the cousins, he has become extremely interested in birds. This turned into quite a study. He wrote the Audubon society asking for free materials and perhaps- binoculars?? It was a great day when a package came with about 6 bird books to add to their library and even a slight hope of binoculars if some are donated.

Samuel (7) also enjoys the Cousin County Bird Society. He is progressing in reading, has very nice hand writing, and loves fish. And Penguins. In fact, a few days after the kitty arrived, we picked up a fish tank and the boys have really enjoyed this addition. They even help clean it and blood worm Tuesday and brine shrimp Friday are very exciting. Don't ask.

Highlights of the year:
-Maxwell, Sarah, and I visiting Andrew in Wisconsin. I fell and broke my arm there, not a highlight, but Jesse saved the weekend by driving us all around.
-Margaret and Sarah visiting a dear friend in Ohio for a week. And visiting Jesse too. ;)
-Rebekah having a senior recital with her good friend Kathryn and graduating from high school in June. Four down, six to go. :)
-David and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this summer. We enjoyed the party that our children put on for us and a trip to Macon, GA, with Sarah and David Clayton to see Jesse's home and church.
-Jesse and Sarah's courtship, engagement and marriage.
-Having Jesse and his parents come in May for the engagement in Cannon Beach, Or. and then again in September for the wedding.
-The wedding, of course!
-David and I met Andrew in NC for a conference in October.
-Ministry at MCC continues and keeps us busy.

We are very thankful for this past year and God's mercies.

Merry Christmas to you all. Remember, we are here and we love you. Please, contact us for prayer anytime and may you find Jesus to be your ALL this coming year.
David and Carol Eddy

Websites and blogs in our family:
http://manchesterministries.org/site/ (the church)
http://thehopeofthegospel.blogspot.com (Carol's blog)
http://morethanascent.younglivingworld.com/ (Carol's essential oils website)
http://1ajeddy.blogspot.com (Andrew's blog)
https://awellcultivatedmind.wordpress.com ( Sarah's blog)
http://preparingfortheultimatecareer.blogspot.com (Sarah and Margaret's blog)
http://4rmeddy.blogspot.com (Rebekah's blog)
https://sites.google.com/site/raincloudpianostudio/ (Margaret's studio)

Not Your Common Love Story

The Love Story of Sean and Patricia

I have permission to share a very special, true story with you. It is very close to my heart and my husband's family's hearts. It's not what you think. It is a heart breaking, heart healing, God is faithful, love endures, love never fails story between mother and son.

It all started back in 1966. Patricia was in an unhappy marriage to Jack, which then ended in divorce. In those days, divorce was still very much looked down on and this one seemed almost a family secret. There were not a lot of support systems available in those days for people in troubled relationships. But that wasn't all...

The cousins knew, of course, Margaret, Norman, Bradford, Carol, DiAnne, and when a new family member married in, it was tactfully, quietly shared, to me, for instance, that Cousin Tricky (Patricia) had a child that was kidnapped and never seen again. When I came on the scene, it had all happened 20 years before. So still very fresh, wouldn't you say?

One day, Jack, Patricia's ex- husband, picked their only child up, Sean, for a scheduled visit and never came back. Patricia had custody of Sean, but that was the last time she ever saw her child. He was just three years old when he was abducted. Patricia was devastated, of course. She had lost her marriage and her only child. The other relatives were heart broken, as well. His grandparents, everybody. Where was he? How is he? Did he grow up and marry? Would we recognize him on the street? Oh, to just hold him and read him that favorite story of his. In many ways, he was frozen in their minds as that little boy, but 46 years went by.

In the years following, Patricia married Bob and they had two children and a granddaughter, Naomi. Life went on. Many happy things happened and because of her love for God and the family closeness, Patricia was able to move on. For the most part.

This is what Patricia writes:
"There's a part of this story that I think might be important to you readers.
From very early in the whole story I have felt forgiveness for Jack. It just came easily for me. It just seemed that God reached down into my heart and took out all the hatred and bitterness and replaced it with peace. Many people have wondered how that could be. They have told me I'm very strong or a saint or whatever. But, of course, I'm neither very strong nor very good. It just took a willingness to be led by God."

Then, it happened. On May 21, 2016, she got the call. Her son had found her. Rather, her ex-husband died in 2015, and her son's wife, a genealogist, proceeded in earnest to locate his mom. Patricia became a grandma that day, (She is a grandma already to sweet Naomi) and even a great-grandma! All on that day. Sean went from 3 years old to 48 during that call. He called her "mom". They set up a meeting. Patricia came down with shingles. Waves of emotion came sweeping over her. Yes, it was stressful and many memories flooded in that had been suppressed for a long, long time.

Patricia adds a highlight of their reunion in early August of 2016:
"Interestingly, Sean and I went to visit Jack's mother last week. She said she had been praying from the start that I would forgive Jack. I told her that her prayers had been answered decades ago. It seems to me, that my forgiveness of Jack wasn't my gift to him, but God's gift to me."

Their first reunion went so well that Sean flew down from Alaska to Tacoma, Wa., in early September. During this time, our first daughter, Sarah, got married and Sean came to the wedding! We were very excited to meet him and were blessed by his daughter, son-in-law, and grandchild coming as well. Sean grew up not knowing if he had any family to speak of. Boy was he in for a surprise!

This summer has certainly been epic. Sean's wife, Trysha, has since been diagnosed with cancer. I asked Patricia about her relationship with Sean's wife. They are able to talk about spiritual things:
"Here's another miracle! My friends and I have been praying (in a pentacostal, charismatic way!) for Trysha since her diagnosis. At her last check the tumor was 100% gone! She's still doing another round of chemo.
Trysha and I discuss spiritual things a lot. Really, I think my faith has grown as much as hers through our discussions. We pour our hearts out to one another via our phones!"

Do you see? Patricia is just a regular person, however, she responded to the Lord's gift of forgiveness offered to her. She could have spent 46 years in bitterness and anger, not allowing God to grow her in her relationship with Him and others. What kind of person/mother would she be today if she had wallowed in self pity and hate. Can you imagine Sean's disappointment? And Trysha! She could have missed this new exposure to the things of God.

I think you can probably find it in your heart to forgive, too, knowing that Patricia did. She was open to God helping her with it and He was faithful to allow her to forgive. She has led a rich and fulfilling life in the 46 years between the loss of her first born son and the time they were reunited. She never knew if they would be reunited. She enjoyed fellowship with the Lord all that time, family, friendships and a meaningful career teaching children too. Our children have always loved spending time with cousin Tricky because she was fun to be around! She invested in our lives rather than curling up in self-pity. Yes, there have been other heartaches along the way. This isn't the only trial she has faced. And she admits to being as weak as the next person. Only willing. As a Christian myself, I am encouraged to stay the course and to trust in God's plan even more.

The process of closing the gap of all those years continues. This week, it is time to look through all of Sean's childhood pictures that he sent. Hard. Very hard. Bittersweet. Precious. Sean will likely be doing the same soon. He has two siblings that he didn't get to grow up with. How different were their experiences from his?
We, personally, are removed just enough to stand back and marvel at their strength and courage to work through this entire process, but there are other, closer, relatives that still feel the hurt of hearing that their favorite, little guy wouldn't be there at Christmas or be able to toss the ball around in the backyard because someone selfish snatched him out of their lives. I pray that they will find peace if they haven't already.

This love story continues to unfold.

Isaiah 61:1-3
“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

Indian Soup Recipe

I have some exciting news and it's not just the recipe I'm about to share with you!
Our oldest daughter, Sarah, is getting married! We love our son-in-law-to-be and his family. His parents are missionaries in India that we have known for over 20 years.
They plan to be married, here in Port Orchard, on September 10 and will then move to Macon, Georgia where he works as a physical therapist.

So, all that to say, I've been dabbling in some Indian cooking and have a recipe to share with you.

Indian Soup

1/2 stick butter or oil of choice
Green onions
Leeks
1 15 oz. can diced tomatoes
Stir fry in fry pan with:
several broken cinnamon sticks
a couple tablespoons fresh grated ginger
1/2 teaspoon masala
1 tablespoon cumin (may add more to taste)
1/2 teaspoon coriander
2 teaspoons turmeric
1/8-1/4 teaspoon red chili pepper

Meanwhile bring desired amount of broth to boil with:
 5-6 chopped potatoes
3 carrots
2 15 oz. cans black beans
1 yellow bell pepper
mushrooms
All these vegetable choices are optional and all amounts are only suggested. You may add cooked beef, pork or chicken and serve as a soup or topping for rice or potatoes or to wrap up in a tortilla or roti. Remove cinnamon sticks before consuming. Garnish with coconut milk or sour cream.

Inner Value shows on the Outside

This is a great article that goes very well with my Esther series.

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/true-woman/blog/feminine-beauty-outside-inside-and-gods-design/?utm_content=buffer16a0e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

2016 We are ready for ya!

The Esther Project Part 6

I forgot to mention posture in part 5, but having good posture is very important. You look good and benefit from proper intake of oxygen etc. So stand up and sit up strait! When you walk by a window you can quickly check your posture or make a deal with a friend who can signal you if they see you slouching.

Sweet Spirit:
Of the two times my husband has picked out lipstick, he inadvertently came home with the EXACT same brand and color. The first time we were in the San Juans, and I was getting ready for my sisters wedding but had forgotten to pack lipstick. I was working on putting her bouquet together so he headed out for some lipstick. (I know, he is amazing.) The second time, maybe a year later, he was at the store with our daughter, Rebekah, and helped her pick out a lipstick. No, this is not a normal errand he runs!

Do you think I got the message? I'm wearing THAT color!
Pay attention to what your man likes. Tune your spirit to pick up on those little things.

Eph. 5:2
"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma."
Phil. 4:18
"Indeed I have all and abound. I am full, having received from Epaphroditus the things sent from you, a sweet-smelling aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well pleasing to God."

Physical Care: A Perfume tutorial!
Somewhere around the 1950's, perfumes that used to be made with true essential oils began to be made synthetically in the lab. Does it seem to you that more and more people complain of cologne giving them headaches and breathing problems? I don't personally suffer from that and enjoy a good cologne, however, I know quite a few people that I can't wear it around. However, making your own scent is actually quite easy, less expensive, and certainly more healthy and beneficial than what you can find in a department store! I will add, I try to not wear even my healthy scents in a crowded place, like choir practice, IF I know someone there that is sensitive. If you've ever had an asthma attack and felt like you couldn't breathe, it is pretty traumatic. An asthmatic person can feel constricted even if they just begin to worry that they are going to struggle with breathing!

First of all, there are some basic aroma categories:
Citrus, earthy, floral, herbal, minty, spicy, and woody. And camphorus- like tea tree.

Citrus blends well together with spicy and floral notes except for neroli.
Earthy blends well with each other and minty oils.
Floral blends well with each other and spicy, citrus, and woody.
Herbal blends with each other and minty.
Minty blend well with woody and herbal, but also with some floral like lavender and some citrus like lemon.
Spicy blend well with each other and with floral and citrus. Don't use more than 2 spicy oils in a blend. Try ginger and nutmeg together.
Woody blends well with all.

Secondly, You want a top note, middle note, base note.
Top notes should make up the bulk of the blend. Middle notes about fifty percent of overall number of drops and then only a drop or two of the base note.

Here is an example of how to choose a great blend of aromatherapy perfume:
I want an uplifting blend, that provides some balance of my emotions. I am also feeling a little worn out. My choice:

4 drops of orange essential oil - for its uplifting properties. It is also a top note so I use more drops.
2 drops of lavender essential oil - for its balancing properties. It is a middle note so I use less.
1 drop of cinnamon essential oil - for its grounding properties. It is also excellent for feelings of exhaustion. Being a base note, one drop is all you need. Cinnamon is possibly a spicy or hot oil, so use plenty of carrier oil and try on a small area first.
Aromatherapy perfume blends must be mixed with a carrier oil!

Examples of top note oils are:
    Basil
    Bergamot
    Eucalyptus
    Grapefruit
    Lemon
    Lemongrass
    Orange
    Peppermint
    Pine

 Examples of middle note oils are:
    Chamomile
    Fennel
    Geranium
    Juniper
    Lavender
    Nutmeg
    Rosemary
    Tea Tree

 Examples of base note oils are:
    Anise
    Benzoin
    Cedarwood
    Clove
    Jasmine
    Patchouli
    Rose
    Sandalwood
    Vetiver
This is just a quick list. I have a more extensive list available.

Once assembled the mixture needs to "marry" (Isn't that cool?) for a couple weeks. Simply give the bottle a little shake every few days.
When you put it on, you will notice the top notes first and even if you don't like the most noticeable scent, at first, remember that it is the base note that is more the final scent.

Exotic Perfume for Her:
2 drops jasmine
10drops coriander
12 drops bergamot
5 drops rose
8 drops neroli
1 drop elemi or myrrh (fixative)
5 ml carrier oil (V-6 or sweet almond oil)
Store in glass in a dark place for 2 weeks. The rose oil is impossibly expensive. You can leave it out or try lavender or ylang ylang. Whatever.

Fav. Pastor Number 7 (I made this special for my hubby and we really like it)
4 drops bergamot
5 drops sandalwood
2 drops cedar wood
1 drop lavender
1 drop spikenard
2 pumps sweet almond oil or jojoba oil

Teachable:
https://www.youngliving.com/blog/essential-oils-in-the-ancient-world-part-ii/
These plants: balsam, bay laurel, pine, fir, and juniper, and their extracted essential oils, were used in massages or other therapeutic practices back in the day. When baths were not available, ancient Romans used scented olive oils to clean their bodies, applying them to the skin and then scraping them off with an instrument called a strigil.
Israelites used essential oils such as frankincense, cedarwood, hyssop, fir, and spikenard to heal wounds and elevate spiritual communion.The most famous example of the value that essential oils had in Israelite culture is in the telling of the birth of Jesus, to whom gifts were given of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. You can read more in the book "Healing Oils of the Bible". It is not only an interesting book, though sometimes a bit far-fetched, but I believe that learning as much as we can about natural things available to us for promoting health is going to be absolutely crucial as our nation becomes socialist. We are already experiencing difficulties.

Finish memorizing Prov. 31:10-31 and say it to someone!
From these six posts, realistically, you may land on just a handful of things that you want to try over the next months as you prepare for marriage. I understand that. If you end up investing in any EOs, don't forget that they each have many many uses.
Thank you for following along with me in this. I hope, at the very least, that you learned something about being a Godly wife. I do have post  #7 available upon request :)
Blessings, Carol

Bonus:
Diy mouthwash
Place 2 cups water into quart jar.
Add 1 Tablespoon baking soda
Add 10 drops each of thieves and peppermint eo
This is so easy, inexpensive and should be whitening. You could also use orange

The Esther Project Part 5

What to wear, what to wear:
How is your wardrobe looking? Are the wedding and bridesmaid dresses you've been looking at the type that put others at ease?  We've been told a lie. It is that "It's YOUR day." That is not true. A wedding is God's symbol. How you plan it will, either bring glory to God or, bring attention to yourself or your maids. (The guys are always well covered!) I am pretty passionate about modesty in this day and age. You can read a previous post I have called "Confessions of a Closet Conservative". Now, before you get your back up, it is just an old post!
By now, though, hopefully, you have done some soul searching and it is the Lord that knows your heart. I certainly don't. I can't tell you what to wear, that is something you need to work out with the Lord and your parents even. Then, it will be your husband's responsibility. Now, that may shock you, but, as a guy, he can really help you to dress in a nice way that doesn't draw attention to parts of you that are only for him. That is, as long as he isn't a King Ahasuerus who wanted to flaunt his wife.
How you dress and how you carry yourself will speak volumes as to your faithfulness to him.

Sweet Spirt:
If you want to be honest and check your motives behind your dress, consider this: Is the main attention of your appearance your sweet, cheerful countenance? I'm not saying that you should dress "blah" because that is simply not necessary. I'm saying that there is a gleam and light to share that radiates from your face!
Prov. 15:13
"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance,
But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."
 1 Tim. 2:9-11 "in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works."
Prov.11:22
"As a ring of gold in a swine's snout,
So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion."

Physical Care:
Exercise is really important and a great habit to be formed while you are young. Many young people and newly weds, though, don't have extra money for a gym membership or space for equipment at home. Here in Washington, the weather makes it difficult to get outside! But, don't give up. Our society has made it too complicated. There are simple ways to get a work-out without any expensive/ bulky accessories. It's not complicated. And- bonus!! Mopping the floor and scrubbing the tub is calling on a lot of muscles too. You just need something DOABLE.

https://www.fitwatch.com/blog/10-ways-you-can-exercise-at-home-without-any-equipment

I'll admit to you right now that nobody in my house wants to use my homemade deodorant. I know. Sad. But, if you want to try some, this is really inexpensive and it works for me.
Homemade All Natural Deodorant:
Makes enough for one average-sized deodorant roll-up container.
1 heaping T. beeswax pellets
2 1/2 - 3 T. coconut oil ( probably go with the 3 T.)
1/8 C. arrowroot powder
1/8 C. baking soda (aluminum free)
2 drops castor oil
2 drops vitamin E
24 drops of therapeutic grade essential oil of your choice (recommendations below)
The selections are endless. You could choose just single oils (lavender, lemon, melaleuca, sandalwood, frankincense, etc.) or Young Living has a number of blends that are perfect for a good deodorant (Thieves, Purification, Citrus Fresh, Three Wise Men, Joy, Harmony, Sensation etc.).
If you want to get creative, you could try to blend a few complementary oils together yourself. Here are a few examples:

English Garden:
9 drops lavender
9 drops ylang ylang drops
2 geranium

Morning Breeze
15 drops Rosemary
6 drops peppermint
4 drops lavender
Other good oils choices: Frankincense, Lime, Lemongrass, Citrus Fresh, Rosemary, Valor, Bergamot, Geranium

Perhaps Esther used something like this recipe to refresh her face after a brisk promenade about the beautiful gardens of the Persian palace.
Hydrating beauty mist:
1/2 cup distilled or reverse osmosis water
1/2 teaspoon vegetable glycerine
8 drops ylang ylang
2 drops chamomile
1 drop myrrh
1 drop frankincense
1 drop jasmine (optional)

Teachable:
I will give you a couple hints as to modest dress. If you often have to tug it UP or DOWN, consider wearing something else outside of the house. Later, as a new mom, your kiddo is going to start pulling on your clothes too. You will also be bending down to reach stuff a lot and picking things up off the floor. Please, don't let everything hang out or hike up.
 You want to have an attitude of putting others at ease. You can loose friends over dressing immodestly. After all, not all of your friends are married to men that control their eyes. I'm sorry, but this is true- I have witnessed it. I also found out, much to my surprise, that you can loose friends over being too Modest! I can't understand it, but for some women who are either feeling convicted about their own motives behind their wardrobe choices, or their feeling that they have to be always alluring in order to keep their own man, your dressing from head to toe could make someone mad at you. Now, we are not here to please others, but only to please God. Seek Him in this and see if you can't find a way to dress modestly without going way overboard. That attitude speaks of selflessness and will keep ministry opportunities wide open to you so that you can be a servant of the Lord.

Esther and the Dragon (or Part 4)

I'm guessing that Hegai knew just about everything there was to know about the women he was in charge of. I have this picture in my mind of his massive spread sheet scroll of papyrus with drop down menus showing him which ladies could go to the king and when. I wouldn't have wanted to hang with some of those women long term, but maybe they were just given an extra serving of poppy seeds on their salad at certain times of the month. Fortunately, you can just track certain things for YOURSELF.

Sweet Spirit:
You should take notes of your mental state and cycle throughout the next few months, if you don't already, and look into getting a tranquilizer if it is real bad. JUST KIDDING! Seriously though, you may see a pattern and be able to lean on God even more for right responses when you aren't at your best. Remember that He is pleased with a gentle, quiet spirit and that you are to do good to your man "all the days of his life". (and you don't want your family to be TOO happy to have this guy take you off their hands.)

Each and every day,  listen to what you are saying and the TONE you are using. Probably, you are still on your best behavior around your intended. So, listen carefully to see when, and if, you tend to snap or vent a lot around those you've been around for years. I am talking about your irritating, immature brother, a parent that you clash with, or your college roommate. Maybe you just hide for a few days. You can't do that with a family.

Guard your mouth.
Prov.21:23
"Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles."
Ps.141:3
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips."
You don't want to damage your relationship with your beloved in the first and hardest years of marriage, so correct yourself now, with God's help, and check in and be honest with your mentor.

Guard your heart.
Sometimes we allow things to fester in our hearts. This allows a root of bitterness to begin its hold on you. I had a dear friend ask me once, when I was fussing to her about something, "Are you bitter?" She stopped me in my tracks and caught my attention. It was the best thing for me and I had to be honest. I was headed down the wrong road. Bitterness is like taking poison and hoping the other person gets sick. And, if you hold bitterness towards ANYONE, it will affect your marriage!
Or maybe worry keeps you awake at nights or clouds your decisions.Try to take your thoughts captive and use those tendencies as a call towards prayer over the person or situation.
Phil. 4:6-8
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

Physical Care:
Women can be different almost every week it seems. Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde only worse! Study up on the different hormones. They are useful things! They are needful and part of God's amazing design.
My husband once picked up a set of mugs. Each had a picture on it. A dragon, a bear, a tiger, and an elephant. I was mad because we didn't need any more mugs! Who buys themselves a mug? Well, he waited a couple weeks, made coffee, and then handed me the tiger mug with a wink. Um. Now I get the hint when he hands me the dragon etc. It's funny to me, now, that he pays attention to which week I'm in.

Many factors come into play where your hormones are concerned-even environmental things. They are easily thrown out of kilter, but knowledge and education can help bring things back into balance (as can getting some "boy germs" eventually- trying to keep things light here.) Diet and exercise play an important role too. It's possible that you may need a professional to measure your levels, but know that not every doctor is up on women's issues. Look around for the right one.

Pay attention to your cycle but do not blame it for your sin. If you suffer at times because of it, learn to lighten your schedule if you can, but trust also, that God knows about it too.

An example in Scripture of a woman using her cycle for deceit:
Gen. 31:34-35
"Now Rachel had taken the household idols, put them in the camel's saddle, and sat on them. And Laban searched all about the tent but did not find them. And she said to her father, “Let it not displease my lord that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is with me."
People have found help through natural means, whether herbs or EOs. Vitex or chaste tree herbal extract has been known to alleviate PMS or ease the second half of the monthly cycle. It addresses both progesterone and estrogen which many prescriptions fail miserably to do. You do need to be diligent, however, in its use.

Progessence Plus serum, Dragon Time, Endoflex, and Lady Sclereol are YL blends designed specifically for women. Lavender is a great single. Applications vary.
Here is a blend you may find relief with:15 drops peppermint,10 drops orange, 5 drops lavender,1 oz. sweet almond oil.
Mix together in an amber glass bottle and massage small amount on abdomen, head, and low back. I have also heard ylang ylang with peppermint layered over the top works. The key is to  use just a little but apply often.
You do not want to depend completely on over-the-counter drugs for PMS because they have diminishing effects and are hard on your liver.

Teachable:
As you continue to grow in the Lord and grow in your relationship with your future husband, you may not be able to see how you are changing. But, rest assured, if you are in the Word and actively asking Him for wisdom, you will be steadily becoming a godly woman that brings honor to God and your family. I remember a few ladies at church commenting to me after I had been married a few months that they had seen a real transformation in me. Well, I had gotten serious about the Lord and had been faithfully in the Word and memorizing scripture! I had no idea that other people would notice a change.
Keep working on memorizing Prov. 31:10-31
Prov. 31:25-26
"Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness."

Just for fun:
My Fair Lady: "Why can't a woman be more like a man"
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Doz5w2W-jAY

I recommend buying the book "Taming the Inner Dragon Within" by Dr Deardeuff. You can get it for $9 from Life Science Publishers. In fact, I can order it for you. Its a great reference book for anything related to female hormones and how to support them naturally with oils and supplements.

Backache fighting blend:
8 drops cinnamon oil
6 drops roman chamomile oil
4 drops ginger oil
1 T. Almond oil sweet
Mix and massage into back

http://ylsearch.com/   Is a great place to hunt around for ways to support your health needs naturally. Let me know if you are thinking about accessing YL oils at wholesale.

The Esther Project Part 3

The Esther Project Part 3
The skin improvement recipe from the last post is expensive due to the helichrysum. You can either double the lavender or consider going in on a bottle with a friend or something. But first:

Sweet Spirit:
1 Pet. 3:3-6
"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror."

Physical Care:
Hair spritz:
15 drops rosemary
10 drops lavender
7-10 drops Cedarwood
2 oz. purified water
3 drops vegetable glycerin
After towel drying hair spritz on scalp. Massage in. This is a very versatile recipe. These particular oils encourage hair growth, but you can remove these EOs and instead use 10 drops of Jasmine. Lovely. Ylang Ylang has been used to ward off grey hair. (I know you don't think that will ever happen to you;)

Rosemary conditioner:
5 drops rosemary
1 T. Jojoba oil
Blend well, massage into hair. Wrap in towel and leave for up to an hour. Unwrap and style w/out rinsing. (I tried that, but found that I did have to wash and rinse it. It still left my hair feeling great.) Encourages hair growth. I would only do it once a week.

 My face lotion recipe is absolutely glorious and the frankincense in it is in a young living Kit that I recommend. You can also use Elemi which is sometimes called "poor man's frankincense".
Step 1: warm about 1/2 cup coconut oil in a small glass jar. Add 1 or 2 pumps of another carrier oil. ( options: rosehip seed oil, sweet almond, olive oil.)
Step 2: 20 drops of young living frankincense essential oil and 10 drops of YL myrrh essential oil.
Step 3: mix well. It will resolidify. Morning and evening take about 1/4 teaspoon in your hand. It will melt and easily spread around your clean face. As your body gets used to it, it will feel less greasy and more RIGHT!  I love this stuff.

Teachable:
Read Titus 2
Keep memorizing Prov. 31:10-31

Summary of the first three posts:
Drink plenty of water
Research some doable ways to detox your physical self
Consider what in your heart needs to be cleansed
Try some natural means of improving your outward appearance
Find a Godly older woman

The Esther Project Part 2

My husband and I have had many opportunities to give premarital counseling. It usually takes about 6 weeks or six sessions, during which, I occasionally interject relevant or (oh dear) irrelevant comments about the various subjects at hand, not having a curriculum to work off of like my husband does. I'm hoping this series can be something I can direct gals to.

In the first post, I basically gave you orders to take a hot bath.

Part 2 is hot on it's the heals because this may take some long term focus, and, since Esther was really in a very tough situation, we will look to other parts of scripture for guidance, as well. We aren't after her life, just her beauty secrets!

Do you have either visible or invisible scars?

Sweet Spirit:
What are the things that have injured your spirit? Did you have a troubled childhood or experience any abuse? Has it effected how you respond to others? Are there things in your past that you need to forgive? These things may take serious time to work through, so pray about where to begin...and begin. Each day is a new beginning.
Lam. 3:22-23
"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness."
The Lord has a unique ministry for you because of these things. I'm not suggesting that they can be completely erased, but that they can be used by God. You can go deeper into His grace and mercy than other women can at your age!
This attitude keeps our hearts focused on God which will, in turn, allow you to do good to your man "all the days of your life".
Prov.31:11-12
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life."

Beyond spending time in God's Word, the most helpful thing to do, I believe, is to seek a Godly older woman as a mentor. When I was a newly wed, I sought out 3 Godly women that I knew would speak the truth to me in love. This was a game changer in my spiritual development! I believe a mentor is crucial whether you have deep things to work through or not. You can imagine the trauma that Esther endured (losing her parents and later being whisked off to a harem) and know that God had her there for a reason-"for such a time as this."

Esther 4:14b-16
"'Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?'
Then Esther told them to reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather all the Jews who are present in Shushan, and fast for me; neither eat nor drink for three days, night or day."

There are some wonderful essential oils that people have used during this kind of process. Our sense of smell is very important. When we smell something, it hits our ole factory nerves in our noses and shoots right to the brain. A person can have positive or negative feelings about something because of a smell. Lavender, usually considered the "Swiss army knife" of essential oils because of its many uses, can take you back to grandmas house and fill you with all kinds of warm fuzzies. If, however, you hated that place, then you probably won't benefit from it. On the other hand, many smells are not actually the real essence of the plant God made, but only a synthetic, so don't give up with out trying a whiff of the real stuff.

Some examples of blends that YL carries are: Forgiveness, Release, and Trauma Life. These were designed to minister to people's emotions and mental state. As I mentioned, these are blends, so make sure you read what all oils are in it first. There may be something there that turns you off. Some singles could be frankincense, ylang ylang, lavender, and lemon. Sometimes a person may smell an EO and hate it, but then grow to like it over time. We all have different body chemistry. Something I like, you may think smells like cat urine, or when your body chemistry changes, it may smell different to you. I use to not like the smell of Cedarwood, but I was having so much trouble falling asleep, I kept trying it, and now I love it.

Physical Care:
On the surface level
This is a wonderful blend of oils that you can use on any skin trouble, whether it is just a temporary issue or something that has bothered you for years. Esther did this sort of thing for a year, so don't expect overnight success.
10 drops helichrysum
6 drops lavender
8 drops lemongrass
4 drops patchouli
5 drops myrrh
1 ounce V-6 Mixing oil. (This is a carrier oil blend the YL carries)
Olive oil or coconut oil (fractionated) would work as well. Jojoba is a wonderful carrier oil that is used for carrying the EOs in deeper. It's molecules are pin shaped and soak in quickly. On the other hand, a lot of massage therapists go for sweet almond oil. It's molecules are oval shaped and therefore stay on the skin longer. These four carrier oils are a must at my house.
MIX IN THE ORDER GIVEN (VERY important!!!), rolling the bottle between your palms after adding each oil. Apply topically at least 3-4 times a day.

Teachable:
Begin memorizing Prov. 31:10-31
In this passage of scripture, there is SO much scope for growing in the Lord! I did not discover its value until shortly after we were married, but, oh how much I needed it, and how much I could have blessed my husband if I had come more prepared!

I hope and pray that your hurts are only skin deep, but if they are deeper, God is there too. He is, after all, EVERYWHERE.
There is enough trouble in this life with just our own sin nature and selfish desires, and you can be sure that getting married will bring your sin right out there for you to discover just how much of it there is! You can look at it as an opportunity to be more refined and sanctified!

So, for this post, just tag it onto the first one as soon as you can. You want to give yourself as much time as possible to heal wounds.

A relaxing bath combo:
5 drops Lavender
 3 drops cedarwood wood
 2 drops vetiver
2 cups Epsom salts.
Mix the EOs into the Epsom salt then add to bath

THE ESTHER PROJECT PART 1

I'm really excited about this! I've been running this idea around in my head for 18 months and it's finally coming out on paper.
I have to post recipes compliantly because I am not a doctor, therefore some recipe titles may be vague, but just know that there is MUCH MUCH more to the benefits than the title suggests. You can always give me a call to clarify. I'm going to try to stick to recipes and encourage you to research for yourself.

THE ESTHER PROJECT!!!

What is it?
Originally I was thinking about how Esther, in the Bible, was prepared to meet the king and how the preparations went on for months! So, my idea was to present some beautification ideas to brides-to-be. However, I will try to make it applicable to other women, since our bodies are God's temple and we should try to take care of it.

This will be a series of maybe 6-8 blog posts with suggestions to prepare a bride spiritually, physically and emotionally for marriage.
As the series comes to a close, I may have a post for those that are very close to marriage that I will send individually to those qualified for such information.

Sweet Spirt:
When Esther was brought under the custody of Hegai, the custodian of the women in the palace, she immediately found favor and was provided EXTRA beauty preparations. She must have had a sweet personality because everybody seemed to like her, as you can read in chapter 2. Her character was something people wanted around.

Physical care:
Esther 2:12b
"...for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women."

Myrrh is an essential oil that blends and works very well with other essential oils. It is in the same botanical family as frankincense. It offers all kinds of support to our bodies, only one of which is the skin. The "perfumes and preparations" will have been from plants and minerals, of course. There weren't too many drugs stores back then, so there will be many essential oil suggestions, as well as carrier oil information, provided in the following posts. Many of the oil suggestions here were even used in Biblical times. Some, like Jasmine, are actually absolutes or an essence rather than an essential oil. It's all about the extraction process. I use only Young Living brand because of their careful processes that we refer to as their "Seed to Seal" guarantee and the longevity of the company.  Remember that your skin is your largest organ, and whatever you put on it gets into your body because of its pores. So, think carefully before applying anything synthetic or cheap to your skin. What goes ON, goes IN.

Teachable:
Esther 2:15
"Now when the turn came for Esther the daughter of Abihail the uncle of Mordecai, who had taken her as his daughter, to go in to the king, she requested nothing but what Hegai the king's eunuch, the custodian of the women, advised. And Esther obtained favor in the sight of all who saw her."
Esther was not only depending on her looks and vibrant health to impress the king, but also used her head and listened to advise available to her in the palace. She was also spiritually in tune, as shown later in the book, when she fasts and seeks the Lord before making an appeal to her husband.

So, of course, spending time on your physical appearance only, is not the end all of life. In fact, if careful attention is not paid to your spiritual and mental development then all you will be is a pretty shell- empty inside. Prov. 31:30 "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."

Let's get started!
Week 1-3

Drinking your fluids:
Anytime is a good time to check your fluid intake, and I'm not talking about soda! Try to be in the habit of about 8 glasses of water a day. If you had a workout, then drink even more. I love to add a drop or two of lemon or tangerine YL essential oil. We have used lime as well and even peppermint. However, peppermint is very strong, so just one drop spread across 24-32 oz of water will do.

Thanks to our strange American diet, you may want to do a few detox things. Drinking plenty of water will be a huge help!
detox bath recipe: 4 cups of each: epsom salt, baking soda & peroxide. Soak for a minimum 30 minutes, best for one hour. If you want to add essential oils, add a few drops to the epsom salt first, so the oil will mix better with the water. Lavender, Peace & Calming, Elemi are just a few wonderful choices to add. Elemi is related to frankincense but a lot less expensive. 5-10 drops of EO should be sufficient.

Remineralizing is important, in addition to the above ingredients, add 1-2 cups Himalayan or Celtic sea salt to bath. This bath can be repeated often with no negative side effects or interference with meds.

Add these ingredients to a "hot to tolerance" tub bath or foot bath (reduce ingredients for this by half), and ad the hydrogen peroxide last of all.

Afterward, towel off and rub down with Young Living's OrthoEase, olive oil or coconut oil. You will want to pick up a good quality olive oil and coconut oil. Ideally, you want virgin olive oil or the "first oil". Coconut oil is an incredible germ fighter and great option as a carrier oil. I get my Epsom salt in bulk through Amazon and look for baking soda that is free of aluminum.
Put these items on your wish list for coming weeks/months: you may want to budget yourself to @$50 a month. I can also show you how to get YL oils wholesale.
Carrier oils from http://www.heatherloraine.com/
Myrrh
Patchouli
Jasmine
Frankincense
Lavender

For an excellent source with more information about many of the oils I'll be covering, simply contact me. I hope you enjoy this little series.